When my first son was 18 months old the childhood development books said that it was normal for him to experience “separation anxiety”. The term refers to the angst both parent and child experience when they’ve been separated.
Faith driven professionals experience a form of separation anxiety too. It’s the idea of “separation of church and state” that is causing internal grief. Most people don’t really understand the real meaning behind the phrase but most people imply meaning based on the language.
Before you get more anxious, just relax, this is not a political post.
We’ve been told that when we go to work, we aren’t allowed to take God with us. It’s a common theme. And those that believe what they’ve been told experience an angst they can’t quite describe. There is internal battle and they don’t know what’s causing it let alone how to stop.
The battle you feel is separation anxiety. You’re trying to separate and compartmentalize God but you can’t and trying to do so has you feeling pangs of separation from your Father.
This is why “separation of church and state” won’t work in the lives of a believer. Separating your faith from who you are is like asking someone to check their gender at the door. Or to check their racial identity at the door. It’s just part of you.
The focus shouldn’t be on separating but deeper integration.
Integrating faith and work is the only recourse a believer has. But does integration mean passing out tracts at the coffee machine or going cubicle to cubicle asking people if they died today do they know what will happen to their souls?
It means that we consciously invite God into all areas of our work. It means we make obedience to God a top priority.
I spoke about this very topic on the Confidence Unchained podcast hosted by Catherine Storing recently. Click here to watch the interview on Youtube or click here to listen to the podcast on soundcloud
The topic was marrying your vocation with your calling. The conclusion was this, we GOTTA merge them in a way that honors us and God. It may sound simple FIRSTNAME, but it's the biggest challenge I’ve experience in my career and that’s why I love helping my clients merge their work and faith in a way that feels good and honors God.
What struggles do you have in merging your work with your faith? Leave a comment and let me know.
On the cover of the June 2016 issue of HR Magazine you’ll see this :
Frazzled and Frayed:
Middle managers are under pressure from above and below. Neglect them at your peril.
By Kathryn Tyler
The article talks about how middle managers are strained and stressed. How middle managers felt the pressure to meet their bosses and subordinates needs and neglect their own. How middle managers are leaving organizations because they aren’t supported. And gives 3 things middle managers need to succeed.
The purpose of the article was twofold: 1) to warn HR professionals that if they neglect middle managers, they do so to their organization’s great detriment and 2) to provide solutions for how HR can help them.
The author a former HR generalist and trainer herself, suggested HR help middle managers by providing three specific things:
At YouLead Live, I shared 3 things middle managers need to be success are mindset, skill set, and community to grow and be successful.
Coaching falls under mindset. Targeted training falls under skill set. And relationship building falls under community.
If these three principles of success are being implemented at Southwest Airlines, what are you doing to implement them in your life?
Perhaps you work at a company like Southwest where the Director of People (aka HR) is consciously aware of the issues and gaps facing middle managers. But what if you don’t.
You can either wait for your organization to get on board or you can lead and find your own community of support.
Here are three ways you can implement the three success principles in your organization:
1. Ask your HR people if they have a program or process where they address the needs of middle managers. Find out what is available already at your company and see if you can plug into it.
2. Create your own community at work. What’s stopping your from gathering a few middle managers like yourself and getting together once a month for lunch or coffee to support each other?
3. Join a community of middle managers online or in person who have expressed interest in filling in skill gaps specific to middle manager, shifting the mindset to be successful, and doing so in a gifted and giving community.
You can do all three of these and have much success. Whatever you do, remember to: always build your mindset, build you skill set, and connect with people.
Click here to learn more about the Brave Middle Manager’s Community
In the article Alicia Keys: Time to Uncover, singer songwriter Alicia Keys admits the most empowered she ever felt was when she had NO make up on.
“Instantly, I became a bit nervous and slightly uncomfortable. My face was totally raw. I had on a sweatshirt! As far as I was concerned, this was my quick run-to-the-shoot-so-I-can-get-ready look, not the actual photo-shoot look. So I asked her, "Now?! Like right now? I want to be real, but this might be too real!!"
And that was it. She started to shoot me.
It was just a plain white background, me and the photographer intimately relating, me and that baseball hat and scarf and a bunch of invisible magic circulating. And I swear it is the strongest, most empowered, most free, and most honestly beautiful that I have ever felt.”
As her quote shows, she didn’t start out feeling bold and empowered. She eventually landed there through a series of choices.
Middle managers should take a lesson from Key’s “song” book and embrace the benefits of uncovering their shame.
Last month was Black History month and this month is Women's History month in America. Being both Black and a woman I am always interested in the challenges these groups face.
But I find the biggest challenge most leaders face is usually not at the hand of some one else. It is typically with the internal limits you impose on yourself.
Yes, there is injustice in the world. Injustice has always existed and it will always exist. But if you are honest, the reason you are not reaching your goals has more to do with YOU than it does with others!
Who am I to change?
We've always done it this way!
It is hopeless.
I can't work like this.
If only I had more time, money, or resources.
Leadership is just as much mindset as it is skill set. Great leaders are very careful about they think. Take my mini assessment to find out if you are getting in your own way.
I can't tell you the number of times I hear women say "I'm a hard worker" like it is a badge of honor to heralded. Don't misunderstand, I applaud people with a great work ethic. But I have found that an unchecked work ethic can prevent people from reaching the level of leadership they desire.
I had a couple of clients get really honest about why they like to work so hard. In two separate instances, women from different industries, both admitted that they like to be needed. In fact, they admitted they need to be needed.
If you are really honest with yourself, as these BRAVE women were, is that true for you? Does the fact that people come to you because you have the most depth of knowledge, or because you get results, or because you know how to work around the system, keep people knocking on your door all the time?
If that is true, then I guarantee you are feeding the need to be needed and as a result undermining your leadership. Leaders aren't needy. They meet needs. Not only are you sabotaging your leadership but you are probably so busy that you don't realize you are wasting time on things that are NOT important to your job.
We feel important when we are busy and needed. But true leaders know that busyness is a seducer from whom we must always be on guard. In fact, the true sign of good leadership is when things don't fall apart when you aren't around.
The Leadership Freak aka Dan Rockwell gives a few ways to get over the need to be needed in his blog. Among his points, my favorite are:
1. Give what you crave. If you need praise, give it.
2. Enable more, and control less
3. Accept your frailties. You will never change what you don't accept.
I applaud your work ethic. And you should be diligent at everything you decide to do. But if you think your worth and value is tied to how many people need you at work, then you are making a mistake that will keep you from reaching your true leadership potential.
If you are always busy but rarely productive and want to change, then I invite you sign up for a free Awaken Your Brave 30 minute phone conversation to see if working together on this issue is right. Click here to schedule your complimentary ses
Twitter is like a straight jacket for the verbose and long winded writer. I never thought myself to be such until Twitter came along. You have to fit your entire message in 140 characters. This isn't just a word count limit. No! Those 140 characters include spaces and punctuation.
Did you know that the change you are looking for is just one decision away?
Allow me to share with you 3 ways indecision is hurting you that i discovered from my Joyce Meyer devotional.
Do you apologize for things that aren't you fault?
Is "I'm sorry" a regular part of your conversation with others?
If someone bumps into you, do you say "I'm sorry"?
If the waiter brought you an incorrect food order, do you apologize for sending it back?
If you answers yes to these questions I want to help you. You're excessive apology is hurting you and your advancement.
"Whether you are communicating with one person or a thousand, in this information-saturated, attention-deprived age, you need to earn the attention of your audience as quickly as possible--then hold it." Nick Morgan, How to Tell Great Business Stories
I urged leaders to tell their stories to their people. It was my most popular post at that time. So let me share my about why I am so passionate about leadership development, especially for women, and communication skill mastery for all leaders. There are no bullets or lesson points in this post. Just my passionate WHY.
Hi there. I'm Julia. Founder, Executive Coach and Leadership Development expert at Brave Communication LLC. Unless noted, I wrote all of the posts here in.